Are You Happy or Just Complacent?
“On a scale of 1–10 how happy are you?”
“In life?… or on the job?”
“On the job of course.”
My boss looked at me expectantly.
I was less than two years out of college and working at a well-respected hedge fund in New York City.
It was a shiny, coveted life by any standard… but I wasn’t happy.
My day-to-day felt lethargic and uninspired, surrounded by three hulking monitors, pointlessly nitpicking data points in desperate attempt to seem busy.
Automatically I defaulted towards the politically correct number 7 — better than average, not phenomenal, but acceptable. But was I a 7? No, definitely less.
“6” I blurted out.
My boss said nothing, an unbearable silence.
I attempted to backtrack, “I mean… On some days I’m a 7,” I added unconvincingly.
He sighed, “That’s not good, Lisa.” My facade was up, but honestly, I was relieved.
He continued, “Do you realize how many people would kill to be in your shoes? This is a golden opportunity, do you really want to let it go?”
We’ve heard it a million times: People regret the risks they never took significantly more than the mistakes they made. So why haven’t we internalized that yet?
Why are we still so afraid to pursue what we want most?
Some people rationalize, ‘It’s just a couple of years of my life, maybe I’ll figure it out later, but for now, I don’t know what else I would do anyway.’
Oftentimes, that alone is enough to halt any further thought or action.
However, ask yourself this:
If not now, when? If not me, who?
When my boss asked me if I was certain I wanted to leave, he was also implying all of the above — ‘You are leaving a coveted, reputable job, you don’t know what else you’re going to do, you’ve got it made already, and if you take this risk, you may look back and be sorry.’
This gave me pause of course, but it wasn’t enough to trap me. The important questions I asked myself were:
Am I passionate about corporate finance?
Will staying here another year get me closer to my dream life?
If I had a year to live, would I still be working here?
When I look back on my life, what will I regret more, staying or leaving?
Once I answered these questions, it became extremely evident that the biggest mistake I could make would be to stay and do nothing.
I then asked myself:
What would I do if money were no object?
What would I do if I stopped caring about how other people perceived me?
What would I do if I didn’t let my job title define me?
While you won’t figure it all out immediately, what you can do is more clearly define what you value most in a job… after all, the average human spends at least a third of their lives at work.
Quitting a good job is terrifying, but if you want to find something you love, you can’t half-heartedly dabble a little here and a little there.
You must create your vision then pursue it with an unwavering drive, a sense of urgency, and enough faith that things will work out if you just have the courage to try.
Just keep asking yourself, ‘If not now, when? If not me, who?’
Want more motivation for building a life you love?
Check out this week’s Global League of Women Podcast episode where I talk about Quitting to Win: Getting Off The Corporate Hamster Wheel with Julia Steele, Director at iFundWomen who shares her experience leaving her consulting job to find work that truly aligns with her passion and purpose. We talk about:
Leaving the “Cult of Productivity,”
The silent curse of the “ABA Mindset: Always Be Achieving”
And why “Life is not a straight train track. It’s a shit tornado with gold bricks swirling around, that you just gotta try and catch.”
Listen on Apple Podcasts // Spotify
#SHOUTOUTS
Thank you to the women + men who have supported me this past week / reached out to let me know how much these posts have resonated, I’m so grateful for you! ️
Kristina J., Chantal C., Darren Y., Steve C., Lisi W., Dani Z., M FS, Noorjit S., Karin B., Jenn H., Amy J., Jon M., Neeta M., Laura M., Rachel G., Dylan G., Patricia W., Susan S., Lisa G., Seema C., Hyunwoo M., Neal T., Roberta M., Paco A., Elizabeth H., Greg H., Jon M.
~ Lisa Carmen Wang, Founder & CEO, The GLOW